giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
