Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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