He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize