Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
