New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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