Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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