I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
