Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
