5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Your penis caused this!
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