I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
