Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
