i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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