when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
