Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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