Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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