I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize