Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
