whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
