Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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