I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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