But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
