He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
