i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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