I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
