hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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