is wine microwaveable?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize