This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
God, I missed his penis.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
