why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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