No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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