similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
