you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
