Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
