Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
being pregnant is like rehab
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
