But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
