No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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