party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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