Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
