Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
