Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize