Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
