he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
