I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
