some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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