i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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