I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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