So drunk, too bad you don't want this
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
