My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
