I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
oh god was she eating orange peels again
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
