her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
