i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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