I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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