I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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