I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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