I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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