Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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