ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
