My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize